all stressed out

kkkk ....

one day on the couch wid my shrink ..

i remember vividly the day
i walked into her offiice for the first time
she wasnt pretty
but she was beautiful i realized when we gott talking

she was all covered up from rist to neck
and heels to way up
dat made me curious

so i tried to flirt
told her i cudnt talk freely until i new the person i was talking to
so she told me a lott
i asked her does she hate men (she was 40-ish un married)

she said she had wanted to marry but all men wanted to see the goodies first
i laffed
hey Rita i am beginning to like u already
i told her ur beaitiful
i can see dat widout looking at skin ..

and the flirting went on and on getting heavier by the minute
i asked her fav colour said pale pink

i had come prepared
i fished out 4 colours of latex and asked her to choose
she smiled and made her pick




My almost-lovers and I exchanged gifts last night. (You know about my almost-lovers, right? They are the fat, ugly people that I let hang around with me. You know--I flirt a little, I let them touch my flat abs, I make them think that I might sleep with them someday, although of course I never would. Having them around proves that I'm beautiful and desirable.)So anyway, I got an awesome sweater from Banana Republic that makes my shoulders look so hot, and four copies of the Ashlee Simpson CD. Do they know me or what?

"Please tell me you're not allergic to latex."
Flirting, by its very nature, will probably never get me that. But that's not what flirting is for.

http://www.cleansheets.com/articles/howto_12.27.00.shtml

CATCH 22 ...

A man is trying desperately to be certified insane during World War II, so he can stop flying missions.
(more) (view trailer)

Commander: its all part of the deal
Yossarian : u made a deal wid the Germans to bomb our own base ??

Editorial Reviews
Amazon.com
There was a time when reading Joseph Heller's classic satire on the murderous insanity of war was nothing less than a rite of passage.

Echoes of Yossarian, the wise-ass bombardier who was too smart to die but not smart enough to find a way out of his predicament, could be heard throughout the counterculture.

As a result, it's impossible not to consider Catch-22 to be something of a period piece. But 40 years on, the novel's undiminished strength is its looking-glass logic.

Again and again, Heller's characters demonstrate that what is commonly held to be good, is bad; what is sensible, is nonsense.

Yossarian says, "You're talking about winning the war, and I am talking about winning the war and keeping alive."
"Exactly," Clevinger snapped smugly. "And which do you think is more important?"
"To whom?" Yossarian shot back. "It doesn't make a damn bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead."

"I can't think of another attitude that could be depended upon to give greater comfort to the enemy."

"The enemy," retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, "is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."

Mirabile dictu, the book holds up post-Reagan, post-Gulf War.
It's a good thing, too. As long as there's a military, that engine of lethal authority, Catch-22 will shine as a handbook for smart-alecky pacifists.

It's an utterly serious and sad, but damn funny book.




Inside This Book (learn more)First Sentence:It was love at first sight. Read the first pageStatistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more) big fat mustache, bloated colonel, tighter bomb pattern, eggs for seven cents, intelligence tent, more combat missions, help the bombardier, sei pazzo, seventy missions, zinc pipe, railroad ditch, sixty missions, illegal tobacco, bomb line, forty missions, colored panties, group chaplain, flak suits, lead bombardier, medical tent, fifty missions, mess officer, combat status, covered cotton, more missionsCapitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more) Colonel Cathcart, Colonel Korn, Hungry Joe, Major Major, Doc Daneeka, General Dreedle, General Peckem, Captain Black, Chief White Halfoat, Nurse Duckett, Corporal Whitcomb, Washington Irving, Lieutenant Scheisskopf, Sergeant Towser, Nurse Cramer, Kid Sampson, Colonel Moodus, Major de Coverley, Colonel Cargill, Group Headquarters, Twenty-seventh Air Force Headquarters, Milo Minderbinder, Colonel Scheisskopf, The Saturday Evening Post, Sergeant Knight

blogg depression ....

a nonist public service pamphlet
there is a growing epidemic in the cyberworld. a scourge which causes more suffering with each passing day. as blogging has exploded and, under the stewardship of the veterans, the form has matured more and more bloggers are finding themselves disillusioned, dissatisfied, taking long breaks, and in many cases simply closing up shop. this debilitating scourge ebbs and flows but there is hardly a blogger among us who has not felt it’s dark touch. we’re speaking, of course, about blog depression.
Read More...
we here at the nonist have spoken before about the “blog life crisis" which is a natural part of any blog’s life-span. what we turn our attention to now, however, is the more insidious, prolonged strain of dissatisfaction which stays with a blogger, right below the surface, throughout a blog’s lifetime. the diligent and self aware blogger can resist this destructive undercurrent, make changes, adapt, rationalize, but for many, untreated, it can cause much needless suffering in the form of full fledged blog depression.
below you will find a 6 page pamphlet meant as a public service to help educate bloggers about this growing problem. feel free to download the complete pdf and disseminate this work to those you know and love. otherwise click each to see the larger version. “the more you know...” the sooner bloggers realize they have options the better. us included.

Read Less...
posted by jmorrison on 07/24 piss & vinegar (17) comments permalink
page 1 of 1 pages

yess, its dat creep OPIE again
who posts such crap

heyyyy guys, i finally found an old foto of Pithaly ....

dis is him

DLAK Franklin ....

DLAK Franklin met Charlie Brown at the beach in 1968.
They'd never met before because they went to different schools,
but they had fun playing ball
so Charlie Brown invited Franklin to visit him at this house across town for another play session.

Later, Franklin turned up as center-fielder on Peppermint Patty's baseball team and sits in front of her at school.
Franklin is thoughtful and can quote the Old Testament as effectively as Linus.

In contrast with the other characters,
Franklin has the fewest anxieties and obsessions.

He and Charlie Brown spend quite a bit of time talking about their respective grandfathers.
When Franklin first appeared in the late 60s,
his noticeably darker skin set some readers in search of a political meaning.

However, the remarkable becomes unremarkable when readers learn that Schulz simply introduced Franklin as another character, not a political statement.

Linus Pithaly ....

Linus Pithaly Van Pelt inspired the term "security blanket" with his classic pose.

He is the intellectual of the gang, and flabbergasts his friends with his philosophical revelations and solutions to problems.
He suffers abuse from his big sister, Lucy,
and the unwanted attentions of Charlie Brown's little sister, Sally.

He is a paradox: despite his age,
he can put life into perspective while sucking his thumb.
He knows the true meaning of Christmas
while continuing to believe in the Great Pumpkin.

Sally Janice ....

Sally Brown's brother, Charlie Brown,
was so pleased and proud when she was born
that he passed out chocolate cigars.

Since then he's been trying to understand her.
She always looks for the easy way out, particularly at school,
where her view of life reflects much of the frustration and confusion kids experience.

Her speech is riddled with malapropisms.
Uninhibited, and precocious,
she has a schoolgirl crush on Linus, her "Sweet Babboo."

She may never win Linus' heart,
but she has her big brother wrapped around her little finger.
Sally, writing letters or doing homework,
causes pain and joy to her fans in roughly equal proportions.

Meeet Keshi Lucy .....

Lucy Van Pelt works hard at being bossy, crabby and selfish.
She is loud and yells a lot.
Her smiles and motives are rarely pure.
She's a know-it-all who dispenses advice whether you want it or not
--and for Charlie Brown, there's a charge.

She's a fussbudget, in the true sense of the word.
She's a real grouch, with only one or two soft spots,
and both of them may be Schroeder, who prefers Beethoven.

As she sees it, hers is the only way.
The absence of logic in her arguments holds a kind of shining lunacy.

When it comes to compliments,
Lucy only likes receiving them.

If she's paying one--or even smiling
--she's probably up to something devious.

saby charlie brown .....

Saby Charlie Brown wins your heart with his losing ways.
It always rains on his parade, his baseball game, and his life.

He's an inveterate worrier who frets over trifles
(but who's to say they're trifles?).

Although he is concerned with the true meaning of life,
his friends sometimes call him "blockhead."

Other than his knack for putting himself down,
there are few sharp edges of wit in his repertoire;
usually he's the butt of the joke, not the joker.

He can be spotted a mile away in his sweater
with the zig zag trim, head down, hands in pocket,
headed for Lucy's psychiatric booth.

He is considerate, friendly and polite
and we love him knowing that he'll never win a baseball game
or the heart of the little red-haired girl,
kick the football Lucy is holding
or fly a kite successfully.

His friends call him "wishy-washy,"
but his spirit will never give up in his quest to triumph over adversity.

i dont care too much for money ...........

money can buy me ..........

Money can buy me respect
but it cant buy me love

and i dont wanna be knighted by the queen of england (respect)
i'd rather be kissed by a beggar wooman in the street


and i dont wanna be loved by all
just the guys i love

i'd rather have love widout sex
than sex wid out love

UR A BRAVE MAN, Charlie Brown ...........

me ?? - dont be silly !


Thank u Mel,
for yr support

i found the courage to be a brave wooman like u
men have balls all right
dat hang on either side of deek
but no guts !

To dream the impossible dream,
to fight the unbeatable foe,
to bear with unbearable sorrow,
to run where the brave dare not go...

To right the unrightable wrong,
to love pure and chaste from afar,
to try when your arms are too weary
to reach the unreachable star!

This is my quest --
to follow that star
no matter how hopeless,
no matter how far --
To fight for the right
without question or pause,
to be willing to march into hell
for a heavenly cause!

And I know
if I'll only be true
to this glorious quest
that my heart
will be peaceful and calm
when I'm laid to my rest.

And the world will be better for this
that one man, scorned and covered with scars,
still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable stars!

‘New Pope is against rock music, homosexuality and communism’ ....

God ! he don’t rock, he SUXS !




And heyy Papa
If dis is catholicism
I wanna be ex-communicated
Gonna complain to my Jesus in triplicate

-Saby, imnuts in caps
PS: u in deep shit Papa
He gonna take yr ass for dis

U dumbass,
U cant speak for Jesus

I understand yr mama
Told u all dis

Don’t blame u
U 78
U not in touch
wid Wat is cool
and wat is not wid Jesus

Grow up Papa
Rather re-learn

The times they have changed
Ask Bob he nos

In india we have a community
Called the parsis
Only a handful left

I bet if u were around when Jesus did his ting
He wuda been ex-communicated too

He was! by the jews of his time
Not just ex-communicated

He was flogged
He was nailed to a cross

Coz
Man! He was cool
He didn’t give a shit for stupid rules

He supped wid out washing his hands to his elbows
And He supped wid the bad guys, the tax collectors
And He loved even Mary Magdalene

He didnt give a fuck for Sunday mass and Sunday cat liks
He said ‘if u have ill feeling towards yr brothers
Your offering is shit
Wat the fuck u coming to church for !
Go and reconcile wid yr brother first’

GOD !
I am sooo mad
I cud kill dis Rat Zingler

Heyyyyy Jesus
Just kidding

U no me
I am nuts in caps
But u love me


PPS: ‘when a man abstains from sex
For 78 years he goes nuts’
Freud said dis


PPPS: my gay pal Pithaly says he the anti-christ
Mebbe its true

PPPPPS: posting dis link to my parish Priest Father Anil
Cant be a hypocrite no more

Wanted to resign my membership when Pope preached family planning by natural means, no condoms
Now dis is the limit –
I don’t agree dat Rock music is evil
I don’t agree dat Pithaly will go to hell bcoz of his sexual preferences

And I love commies
Coz they say they same ting wat Christ said
Equitable distribution of wealth
‘If u have 2 shirts…. ‘

WHAT !! ME WORRY ? ....
....

heyy Firaaaaa .....
size dont matter

the guys in the sane world SUXS .....
...


Some body confessed on http://postsecret.blogspot.com/
it cud have been me

Goddess ....

Black window and other poems by Deepti Naval


i'm DURGA
i' m KALI - the Goddess
no one can conquer me

she plucked the crown of the idol's head
and she wore it on her self

the crowds were aghast !..they swore at her
chased her wid stones, sticks, screams


but she slipped into the woods
flying beyond their reach

at the magic hour
when sun and rain dazzle the earth

she danced and skipped
chasing a single rainbow

and then the villagers got her


they signed on a single piece of paper
dumped her in the looney bin

wiped the vermillion of her forehead
chopped her long black hair

razed it to scalp
locked her behind the solid grill



left her sqealing..... on the dank floor



- an excerpt from the poem

My pal Willie ...

life's greatest treasures is a true friend .....


Today is Easter Sunday... went to church ... and prayed for happiness ....

later invited by Willie to his home for a much needed drink.... went 40 days and 40 nites wid a parched throat .... both of us .....
We hadnt met for a while ... we picked up the threads ... flirted wid his beautiful wife... Willie nos i gott the hottz for his wife...and i no dat he got the hottz for mine... and wat is more he nos dat i no ... and if ur drunk too... u wont no wat i am talking about ...


dats it...
end of the story..leaving u guys esp. Diffy to complete the story.
and i sure hope to God dat the austraylayan wont visit today ...




Learned dis method of blogging from dat sexy mangy Citrua