one day on the couch wid my shrink ..

i remember vividly the day
i walked into her offiice for the first time
she wasnt pretty
but she was beautiful i realized when we gott talking

she was all covered up from rist to neck
and heels to way up
dat made me curious

so i tried to flirt
told her i cudnt talk freely until i new the person i was talking to
so she told me a lott
i asked her does she hate men (she was 40-ish un married)

she said she had wanted to marry but all men wanted to see the goodies first
i laffed
hey Rita i am beginning to like u already
i told her ur beaitiful
i can see dat widout looking at skin ..

and the flirting went on and on getting heavier by the minute
i asked her fav colour said pale pink

i had come prepared
i fished out 4 colours of latex and asked her to choose
she smiled and made her pick




My almost-lovers and I exchanged gifts last night. (You know about my almost-lovers, right? They are the fat, ugly people that I let hang around with me. You know--I flirt a little, I let them touch my flat abs, I make them think that I might sleep with them someday, although of course I never would. Having them around proves that I'm beautiful and desirable.)So anyway, I got an awesome sweater from Banana Republic that makes my shoulders look so hot, and four copies of the Ashlee Simpson CD. Do they know me or what?

"Please tell me you're not allergic to latex."
Flirting, by its very nature, will probably never get me that. But that's not what flirting is for.

http://www.cleansheets.com/articles/howto_12.27.00.shtml